Sunday was Mental Health Awareness Day.
For the sake of transparency and because social media is a platform to connect, over the last 3 years I’ve walked through the journey of clinical depression, which can be hard to understand if you or a loved one hasn’t experienced it yourself.
You see, it’s rarely about a lack of gratitude. It’s not always situational. Your brain can become sick, just like anything else. Your brain starts to create thoughts that warp your understanding of reality and what you believe to be true. And sometimes, the thoughts don’t stop – and you feel held hostage to a body that you can no longer control.
My depression could’ve been triggered by some of the traumas I’ve experienced from my childhood – but paired with the events from 2018-2020, it all came to a head where I felt an overwhelming sense of despair.
I felt like I would rather not be alive than feel like I was losing a battle against my mind & being a burden to those around me. I’ve never had those thoughts before and they scared me.
Through this chapter, I’ve learned how to speak more kindly to myself. To ask for help when I need it. To lean into those around me so that I can see rest and healing in a new light. To be thankful for the days where I did feel like myself, if only for a moment. To be thankful that I could still show up for my clients.
I share this because Instagram can hide the messier chapters of life. Do not feel ashamed to tell someone you don’t feel like yourself and that you need help in the midst of grief.
It’s been a journey with my counselor, my therapist, my doctor, and my loved ones who have helped me tremendously in feeling like myself again. It takes time. So give yourself grace. Please remember that you are not alone and that this world is so much better with you in it.
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