Posts in 23
from the journal:

Tuesday, September 23, 2014 — 11:06PM:

I turned 18 today. Autumn rolled in officially with its crisper air and nights that call for cuffed-sleeve sweatshirts. I celebrated by going to work, like I usually do on Tuesday mornings. I'm legally allowed to press a start button on a machine (which I'm psyched about). Came home, played the piano for a good hour or two and wrote a few papers for classes. A friend came to my door with a handful of sunflowers (I've never gotten flowers before) and a hearty hug. I went to a tatoo shop to get my ears pierced and have the ugliest thing in my ear now. Barbecue from the local shop (the best) for dinner and double chocolatey chip bunt cake with homemade ghiradelli dark chocolate frosting glazed over the original frosting as dessert. I blew out my candles and didn't make a wish. I never really know what to wish for anyways. I had a small party with loved ones and got everything I wanted: a new Bible, fresh flowers, and a pint of Ben & Jerry's. I am a fan of simple birthdays and a fan of being 18. My heart is full.

23, hannahHannah
18 >> Trying not to get too sappy.

17 was hard and not all bells and whistles. Full of disappointments, doubts, and heartache. But in the midst of those days, I saw grace and joy woven so tenderly in. Seventeen was a year of seeking, for sure. I wouldn’t have wished for it any other way. In more ways than one, I grew. Life overwhelmed me and I found myself broken. I saw opportunity and had new experiences thrown at me. I felt growing pains (and a lot of them!) and found joyful rest. I realized often how I grew far too familiar with the gospel that I claimed to cling to and how quick to forget I was. I realized too, how quick God was to remind me, “My grace is sufficient for you”.

I think a lot of seventeen had apathy and anger sprinkled in— a lot of hurt. I found quickly how weary I became and how much rest I needed. I saw how I struggled with stewarding my time well and the lack of being home with the ones I claimed to love the most. I learned what it meant to slow down and be. I found comfort through playing gospel hymns and the Psalms and praying that I would pray more often, “Yet not as I will, but as You will, Lord”. My heart is so very fickle.

I found myself saying “i’m sorry” more often than I can count, and using the phrase “will you forgive me?” more than I ever had before. In the time where I was given the space to be angry and overwhelmed and hurt, love had also been there with open arms. More than frequently, I’ve been a rotten daughter/sister/friend/whatever, but kindness and mercy served as my retort.

This past year the gospel has been so evident and the faithfulness of Jesus has never been clearer. Jesus never forsook. I found myself realizing more and more how unworthy I am and how humbling it is to be in the presence of the King. I grew to love more and more the One who redeemed my soul and who kindly draws me back to himself o’er and o’er. I became more aware of a God who is sufficient, steadfast and kind...More aware of how tenderly He deals with His children and how unworthy I am to be called His own.

I’m grateful for growth and this new chapter that’s at my door. I’m learning contentment and humility and seeing fuller every day how my life is a testimony of the question, “Lord, why was I a guest? (see the hymn, How Sweet and Aweful is the Place)”. I’m so very thankful for life and that His grace abounds all the more.

If you’re reading this, thank you. It blows my mind that people want to know what I have to say. seriously. but God is so kind and these past 17 years have been wonderfully sweet and good. I’m psyched about what will come and what will be learnt in this next season and also grateful. I really have no clue where I’m going (circles?) or what might happen, but I'm seeing that’s okay in every way and really a blessing. Here’s to eighteen, dear friends. Excuse me, while I go crazy and buy+eat myself 5 cakes and justify that because I suppose I’m an adult now. happy birthday man! #181818cakecakecake #adult

18bday

23, hannahHannah
Twenty Three : September

DSC_3888-1 Twenty Three : September 2013 -- Today I am seventeen. Some days the words come easily, and other days like these, they simply don't. I wish that I had some type of profound and heartfelt meditation that I could share, or perhaps make today sound more interesting than it really is. I have tried searching my soul for words to say, but this is all I have. And I've realized, that's okay. Sometimes the words to describe the deepest feelings within your heart or the thoughts you've kept locked inside don’t exist.

However, I do want to say this: Overlooking the end goal and opening your eyes to your current state can be some of the most meaningful and most precious of times. You slowly start to realize that behind all the disappointments and hurt and tears, life's journey doesn't have to be walked alone. Those times where you sit whispering with tears rolling down your cheeks while talking with a friend who will just hug you, remain as some of the most dearest of memories. The little notes you receive on lined paper, written from the heart, warm the spirit. You start to realize that there is so much beauty and love and joy and grace in the everyday, and because of that, life becomes a little bit sweeter. I am so very thankful.

23, hannahHannah17, 23, hannah forsberg, september
Twenty Three : August

Twenty Three : August 2013 -- In all honesty, August nearing its end is rather sad. It means that summer is gone and the time has come to get back into the swing of things. September's appearance, though, excites me. It means big sweatshirts, golden leaves, hot chocolate, theology reads, good food, and the sweetest yet busiest of times. It has been two weeks since school began and already, my quiet days where all I had to worry about was work have vanished...and I long for their return. With the crazy instruction and assignments already piling up, I've resorted to learning off good old YouTube and using lots of lined paper with "To Do:" written at the top.

I've realized more and more that God's hand is in every little detail in my life. From failing a driver's test (because pulling out in front of a truck who stopped is dangerous and erratic behavior, obviously) to buying a new camera, and making new friends..God is so faithful and everything happens according to His purpose and His glory. Things have happened so unexpectedly and have hit me like a truck. All I've been able to do is get up and dust myself off and continue on. I've been shown that when the things around me spin out of control, there God is, beside me. This past month has been humbling to say the least, and boy, do I still have a long way to go.

Twenty Three : July

hannah forsberg

"Grace carried me here and by grace I'll carry on."

Twenty Three : July 2013 -- I swear I say something along these lines whenever I talk to someone in person or write something on here. but man, does life feel like a whirlwind, and from the looks of it, things don't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. School starts back up again in three weeks, and what, I am gonna be a Junior?! To me, that is so crazy. Also, I just redid my blog layout from Tofurious' theme, and I got a new logo from Typeset Design which I am amped about.

In these past 30 days i felt uncertain, confused, and helplessly clueless. I felt insecure, inadequate, prideful, and invincible sometimes all at once. I became even more aware of my sin and desperate need of a Savior. I am learning to trust and experiencing joy. I live an ordinary life but walk a crazy path. Through all the tears and sweat, this month has marked so many sweet blessings. (I should write about that later.) Old friendships are becoming deeper and new ones are blossoming beautifully. I'm learning to love others even more genuinely and to be joyful and humble in the midst of conflict. I'm learning to be patient and compassionate. I am daring to dream a bit bigger and surrendering and placing things at the cross. I've eaten more chicken with Polynesian sauce than I care to imagine and have said "myeee plehhsurreh" probably too many times outside of work. I am realizing that I am where I am supposed to be, what is to come will come in time, and though what I may do, in no way can I disturb what has been declared before time began. Blows my mind how unworthy I am, but how faithful He is.

listening: The Civil Wars (THEY NEVER GET OLD.) reading: Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot enjoying: Chocolatey Chip Frapp from Starbucks. just tried it and dang does it make my tastebuds sing. dreading: Creepers at work & awkward compliments/interactions.