There's a lot in my life that happens unexpectedly. And when things don't go as planned, I start to panic. I am a huge planner. I think making lists is insanely fun, and having every aspect of my life planned out for the next week, next year, is something i find relaxing. Ironically, though, none of my dreams or goals usually happen in my own timing or the way I think they should. I think that God uses the fact of me being an over-planner to bring me to wait and rely on Him instead of myself; because often times, those plans of mine are foiled. completely.
Waiting is hard. I'm still struggling with it. Yet, God constantly proves to me that He is always faithful. I forget that I can simply ask, and simply wait. Not all of my desires are in His will or His timing, but I am confident that if a prayer is not answered, something much more sweet is given in its place.
Too many times have I wanted to jump ahead in life and rush to whatever I thought was the next big thing. Too often I became upset when things didn't go as planned. Too many times did I forget that there's many things to cherish in the present. Too many times did I worry about tomorrow, when the Bible clearly states that I don't have to. Too many times did I forget to stop, and just thank God for today being today. Too many times did I forget to enjoy life, here, right now.
Paul David Tripp wrote via Twitter, "Waiting bothers us because it's in the way of our plans but it's never in the way of God's plan of grace for us." It hurts how true this is of me. I am so fickle, friends, and I fail constantly. But praise God who gives me enough grace for each day and as I fail Him, lovingly brings me back to Himself.
My heart is full. Full with joy, full with awe. I serve an amazing, gracious God. Right now, I'm waiting on answers, waiting on people, and waiting ultimately for the Lord. Many times, things don't always go as planned; and while I may not understand why, I am confident in the fact that they are ultimately for my good. I am convinced that this time is being used to conform me more to His image and I am so very glad.