this season

photo Hello, hello. Forgive the sporadical-ness(?) & extreme vague-ness of my writings on this space, would you? There’s not much to say (online or to anyone for that matter), quite frankly, except that this season is very full. Late nights walking around on campus. The twenty-minute power naps between study sessions(which work wonderfully, by the way). Counting down the hours until the next break. Routine. It’s awfully familiar; those are my days.

Writing has occurred more often in my tattered moleskine, documenting the wonderings and uncertainty…the questions and hopes. The things I dared not to dream. I’ve noticed how there’s a deeper chill to the mornings and an rising difficulty in getting out of bed. People are busier nowadays and there’s an increasing list of to-do’s. There’s almost a sense of urgency to get going and forget to bask in the sweet times and simple joys. I walk entirely too quickly and have my head down rather than taking time to amble, observing and breathing everything in. I wonder if when I look back on this first semester if all I’ll be able to remember is weariness? I suppose I might.

I am confused about this season. I’m confused about feeling lonely and confused if my time is being spent well, away from almost everything I knew last year. I'm confused about being vulnerable and opening up to people or if I'm simply setting myself up for more hurt and heartache. I see only what is happening now and have no idea what to expect, or what not expect. It scares me, uncertainty. But, I think that’s what I’m seeing the most about this season, to live clinging to the One I cannot see. To seek rest and comfort in knowing Him alone. To learn and experience joy knowing that this is where I’m meant to be & each season serves its purpose. He does what He sees fit. I'm grateful.