Looking forward.

2012 was a year characterized by grace. Lots and lots of grace. When January came and went, I had written briefly about the new year but never fully expanded on it. I feel as though March is an awkward month for writing these types of things— too late for a list of New Year resolutions, yet early enough to expand on thoughts and hopes for this new chapter of life. One word that has been on my mind for this year is growth.

This year, my deep desire is to truly grow-- in my relationships, in my writing, in my work, and in my faith, especially. The pages in my journal have been filled big and little things I want to accomplish this year. So many of them being things I want to work on in myself, especially. These things center around the word growth.

Loving people is so worth it. The desire to become more intentional about pursuing friendships and love friends more deeply has been on my heart for the longest time. Funny moments and long hugs and midnight talks are my favorite, but the thought of being able to move towards regular talks of Christ excites me. I want to love others in the same way Christ has loved me.

Words are a mysterious thing. A careful combination of them can make a thought, and many thoughts can write something beautiful. I want to learn how to be more deliberate with my words. I want each sentence to be raw, from the heart, yet at the same time to sound mature. I want to have the ability to explain things easily, without having to erase constantly. A challenge, yes, but a good challenge.

Pursuing photography has been a wild ride. This long journey has been taken in small, hesitant steps. All along the way, people have been so encouraging and I am so grateful for that. This year however, I'd like to continue chasing this dream of being a wedding photographer in a more confident way. I have many things to do, but I can't wait to move closer and closer to my goal. Things will include business aspects, more in-depth thoughts on composition, and being mindful to when I choose to click the shutter. I want to focus on mastering the way I use the light around me, upgrade my gear..the list could go on. I can't wait to take what I have now, and keep onwards toward the goal with all my heart.

Lately, I've become so much more aware of how much I need Christ. My heart is so sinful and fickle and it's easy to become discouraged because of that. This Christian life isn't easy; it's filled with so many stumbling blocks that always seem to catch me and so many temptations that I take. But, God in His mercy calls me back to himself day by day with such wonderous love. What He has started will be completed for His glory. I truly hope to experience what it means to be satisfied in Christ this year. What it means to love Him with all of my heart and find my complete and utter joy in Him alone. Only Jesus can change my heart of stone to a heart of flesh.

Although it's not really the beginning of the year anymore, there are so many things that I'm look forward to.